Unread. Deleted.

unread_deletedI was discussing online dating (shocker) with someone the other day and I mentioned the fact that I’d setup several ‘boilerplate’ emails that I used on various sites to contact women. These cut-and-paste emails are written in a way that’s just generic enough so that I can use them again and again for an initial engagement. I’ve been doing this for years.  However, I don’t do it every time. When I find someone that truly strikes me, I write a personal, well-thought out email.

The person I was talking to asked why I didn’t write a personal email to each prospective date and my response was simple: unread, deleted.

Unread deleted is the status indicator for when a woman does exactly that with a message I write. She doesn’t read it, she just deletes it after viewing my profile. Basically, either my pictures or description is not up to her standards, so what I wrote in the message doesn’t matter to her. This infuriates me to no end.

Many times I’ll come up with a clever email or something that really digs into what she wrote in her profile. I put honest-to-goodness thought into it and try to craft something that will catch her eye. Only, it’s wasted. It’s not even looked at. It’s discarded with nary a thought. I hate that.  To me, it says that your personality is worthless, it’s all about your looks.  I don’t like what I see, so who you are is irrelevant.

This wouldn’t goad me so much if it wasn’t for the fact that women constantly complain that men are shallow creatures. That they don’t look inside and only care about the outside. It seems that there’s a bit of pot-calling-the-kettle-black going on here.

This is the reason why hundreds of women throughout the years have all gotten the exact same message from me and hundreds more will receive it in the future.

It’s all in a (user)name

Ahh, DatingWhile perusing one of the many dating sites that I am a member of, it occurred to me that I’m a big fan of looking at a person’s username.  I believe that it gives a clue as to their personality type and some are just really clever.

However, your username can also work against you. Include a little too much information and there’s a good chance that you’ll have a real hard time getting dates  I’ve posted a list of some usernames below that I believe will, um, hinder you from successfully finding a mate online (but what do I know, I’m still single).


Usernames guaranteed to keep you from meeting someone on internet dating sites (part 1):

For the guys



14InchesofPain (that one might work, there’s some weird people out there)


Anything with 696969 following it









For the girls














Beware of the falling piano

Have you ever had one of those days where everything is going right?  You wake up refreshed and ready to take on the day? Traffic is light and there’s no line at Starbucks?  Your boss, for whatever reason, thinks every idea you have is a good one and sales are up for no reason at all?  You get an unexpected present and just feel like a million bucks?

Then, you get kicked in the nuts.

There you are, having the best day you’ve had in weeks, when all of a sudden you come around the corner and run smack dab into your ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend.  Boy, that’s fun, let me tell you.  The whole day of good shoved into the garbage disposal which is then run with no water.

This sucks.

iPhoto – The Neutron Bomb of Past Relationships

Jack Welch, the former Chairman and CEO of the GE corporation, was know amongst his industry peers as ‘Neutron Jack’. The reason being, is because when he finished Neutron Bombrestructuring a company, the only thing left standing was the building. The reference is to that of a neutron bomb, which destroys all biological material (people), while leaving everything else intact.  I found another use for this reference when it comes to iPhoto and previous relationships.

I have an Apple TV which I use to display slide shows on the big screen in my living room of the photos kept on my Mac.  What I have found is that while this is an extremely useful feature, it can cause some concern when you have a date over and photos of you and your ex are dancing about on the screen.

Of course, the first instinct is to just exclude the photos sets that contain pictures of my ex.  However, that destroys most of the photos that have been taken over the last year.  Using such blunt tactics would literally leave a ‘photo hole’ in my life for nearly a twelve-month period.  I knew there had to be a better way and, after a little tinkering, I found it.

The latest release of iPhoto comes with a feature called ‘Faces‘.  This feature culls through your photo collection, or any new photos you upload, and does its best to recognize and tag the people in the picture.  It works fairly well (after some training), but I won’t get into a review here.   The feature is intended to allow the user to be able to quickly pull up all pictures in your collection that contain specific, or groups of, people.  So, for example, you can create a ‘Smart Album’ of only photos that contain your mom and dad.  iPhoto will look through your collection and pull out any photos that contain a person tagged as your dad and one tagged as your mom.  If it’s just of your mom (0r dad) it won’t show.

Getting back on point, I wondered why I couldn’t do this in reverse.  I wanted to set up an album that contained only photos that didn’t have my ex in them, but still left in pictures of the events and places that we were at.  So, I went into the parameter settings of creating a Smart Album and, lo and behold, there was a setting for ‘Face’ and ‘Is Not’.  I typed in my ex-girlfriend’s name and BAM!  Back were all the weddings we went to, without a shot of her in sight.  Back were the birthday parties we attended, minus the shots of me and her standing next to each other.  Even showing up were the pictures of when she moved into her house, only showing me carrying some boxes!

With this feature, I was able to ‘surgically remove’ her from the pictures in my past without losing the memories of being there.  Sure, I’ll remember that she was a part of it, but at least I don’t have to explain to the new girl sitting on the couch next to me who that is that I’m kissing on the beach.

First Impressions Last a Lifetime

I was given two bits of wisdom by a former boss of mine that I’ve carried with me ever since.  One of them, you never get a second chance to make a first impression, I’ve always held to be extremely true.

Now, a team of scientists have actually determined that this is actually the case.  A betrayal of trust at the beginning of a relationship is nearly impossible to overcome compared to one that happens after a relationship has been formed.

It’s a very interesting article and you can read it here.