The very funny and talented Fasil Malik, who also runs the site I Need Fasil, interviewed me over the weekend. He asked some very interesting and probing questions, but ones I was happy to answer.
You can read the full interview here: Interview with Jon Levine
I was discussing online dating (shocker) with someone the other day and I mentioned the fact that I’d setup several ‘boilerplate’ emails that I used on various sites to contact women. These cut-and-paste emails are written in a way that’s just generic enough so that I can use them again and again for an initial engagement. I’ve been doing this for years. However, I don’t do it every time. When I find someone that truly strikes me, I write a personal, well-thought out email.
The person I was talking to asked why I didn’t write a personal email to each prospective date and my response was simple: unread, deleted.
Unread deleted is the status indicator for when a woman does exactly that with a message I write. She doesn’t read it, she just deletes it after viewing my profile. Basically, either my pictures or description is not up to her standards, so what I wrote in the message doesn’t matter to her. This infuriates me to no end.
Many times I’ll come up with a clever email or something that really digs into what she wrote in her profile. I put honest-to-goodness thought into it and try to craft something that will catch her eye. Only, it’s wasted. It’s not even looked at. It’s discarded with nary a thought. I hate that. To me, it says that your personality is worthless, it’s all about your looks. I don’t like what I see, so who you are is irrelevant.
This wouldn’t goad me so much if it wasn’t for the fact that women constantly complain that men are shallow creatures. That they don’t look inside and only care about the outside. It seems that there’s a bit of pot-calling-the-kettle-black going on here.
This is the reason why hundreds of women throughout the years have all gotten the exact same message from me and hundreds more will receive it in the future.