While I received an outpouring of birthday wishes today, there were a few notable absenses. Unfortunately, it was this time last year that I was at a completely different place in my life and I thought it was going in a completely different direction.  Yet, here I am, a year later, back in the same place I was before.  Starting from scratch.  Back on the hunt. While I truly believe that this is a better place to be, my mind can’t help but to reflect to a year ago.

I need sleep.

As my best friend loving pointed out, forty is rapidly approaching.  I think that 36 is an age when forty joins the conversation.  It’s not the featured guest, but it certainly has a seat at the table.  Forty. Where will I be then?  What will my life be like?  My head hurts to think about it.

What happened to thirty?

I don’t feel different.  Maybe a little bit more experienced.  Not apt to repeat some of the mistakes I’ve made in the past, yet poised to make new ones.  I don’t think that ever ends. Will I ever learn?  Not likely.

The family is celebrating on Wednesday.

My father’s birthday is three days from now.  We’re doing a dual-celebration dinner on Wednesday.  It will be nice to see everyone.  I wonder how reflective I’ll be then.  Maybe I’ll be more focused on my father’s remaining years than on my own.

Hopefully, I’ll be better rested.

Then, you get kicked in the nuts.

There you are, having the best day you’ve had in weeks, when all of a sudden you come around the corner and run smack dab into your ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend.  Boy, that’s fun, let me tell you.  The whole day of good shoved into the garbage disposal which is then run with no water.

This sucks.